Dear Lily, Save me from this Breakdown
by SkeletonCircus
Summary: It's the summer after their 5th year and Snape still regrets what he has said to Lily. Will Snape be able to fix things or will he just hurt her again in the process? Oneshot based off of the song Breakdown by Forever the Sickest Kids. Please review!


**Hello! So here's a quick little Lily and Snape oneshot! It is based off of the song Breakdown by Forever the Sickest Kids. I absolutely love that song and I was listening to it one day and I thought it fit fairly well with the situation of Lily and Snape. This takes place after the incident of Lily and Snape in their 5th year. Keep in mind that the song doesn't fully relate due to the second and third verses, however, the first verse and the chorus fits absolutely perfectly. So please listen to that wonderful song or read the lyrics somewhere and enjoy this little oneshot! Please review!**

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**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter or the characters. This fanfiction was simply based off of the song Breakdown which belongs to Forever the Sickest Kids.**

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_Dear Lily,_

_I am writing this letter to inform you that I am sorry._

I scribbled out that line and continued writing.

_We haven't talked in forever so-_

I violently dipped my quill in ink and scribbled out that line also.

_Look, I didn't know what I was thinking when I called you a…_

I crumpled up that piece of parchment and threw it on top of the pile. It was the summer before my 6th year at Hogwarts and I was missing Lily terribly. Why did I have to call her that? I didn't mean to. It was James' fault. He can't seem to leave me alone and he makes light of my anger issues. If only Lily didn't stand up for me.

Let's face it; it was embarrassing that she stood up for me. I don't need some girl standing up for me as if I can't do so myself. I can't stand up for myself, to be truthful. But I've dealt with Potter before and her interference really wasn't necessary.

But I needed to fix things. So here I was, locked up in my room, attempting to put my thoughts into words. I grabbed another piece of parchment.

_Do you honestly think that what you did-_

I ripped this piece to shreds. Why was this so difficult? Why couldn't Lily send me a letter instead? Oh, right. Because it's my fault, along with everything else.

I sat there, unsure of how to begin an apology letter. Without Lily I had no one. I didn't belong in Slytherin; then again, I didn't belong in Gryffindor either. Did I belong anywhere? I sighed and continued.

_Don't you realize that I miss you?_

That was too dramatic. I crossed out yet another line and pondered the past events over. I was stupid and wrong and I shouldn't have taken her for granted. That's a good way to start it. I quickly wrote that down.

I stared at my sloppy handwriting for a few minutes and then realized that this was going to turn out like a sob story. I shivered and moved onto the next piece of parchment.

None of this would have ever happened if Potter hadn't been born. I would never have gotten so angry and said words I didn't mean. Therefore, I have now come to the conclusion that the distance and awkwardness between Lily and I is because of James Potter's mother, for giving birth to that horrid creature. Lily doesn't like him either. I bet that his parents are snobby and rich. I bet they taught Potter how to ruin people's lives. After all, that apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

I exhaled in frustration and pushed my thoughts away from Potter. I only had myself to blame for my words. Besides, he was the last person I wanted to think about. I focused on Lily and how perfect things had been. She was my best friend and the one person who didn't judge me. And I took her for granted.

Of course, I couldn't focus on the positives for too long. Sure, our friendship was great but honestly, why would Lily like me? Out of everyone in Hogwarts, why would she like me? Why had my words had such an impact? I never wanted to hurt her. And I didn't want to continue hurting her, so I came to a conclusion. I had finally decided on what to write.

_Lily-_

_I'm sorry for what I said to you, you didn't deserve it at all. In fact, you don't deserve to be hurt by anyone, especially not by me. I mean for my apology to be most sincere, however, I believe that the only way for you to be happy is if there is distance between us. I do not deserve to have you as a friend and I shouldn't have taken you for granted. I want you to be happy and as they say, if you love someone you have to let them go. I'm letting you go. You'll be better off without my presence. Please don't try to convince me otherwise._

_-Severus_

I clutched the piece of parchment and regretfully rolled it up and tied it with string. I knew it was for the best. Calling my owl over, I secured the letter to her leg and sent her off.

In a few minutes, to my surprise, Emerald had returned with another letter. I cautiously untied it and began reading.

_I miss you, Sev._

_-Lils_

I shook my head, knowing I had to hurt her once more. I was unhealthy for her, I couldn't let this happen.

_You shouldn't waste your time on a feeling that is one-sided._

_-Severus_

I couldn't stand that I was doing this to Lily. I knew I had to; it was what's best for her. She couldn't be holding onto someone who hurts her. Emerald took the letter and flew off to Lily's house a couple blocks away.

It took a little longer to get her reply. I unraveled the piece of parchment once more and noticed how sloppy and thick Lily's handwriting had become. It was usually neat and orderly, which meant she was angry. Good, I thought.

_You're being ridiculous. You send me a letter of apology and now you're acting like you don't care. What were you trying to say in that first letter then?_

I could tell Lily didn't believe me one bit and that frustrated me. Couldn't she tell it was in her best interest to forget about me? She was making this harder than it should've been.

I sat there at my desk for a while. I bit my thumbnail in frustration, mostly at myself. I knew exactly what I needed to say but it was nearly impossible to write down.

_Lies._

I signed my name at the bottom and crumpled the piece of parchment up. I tied to Emerald's leg and I could tell she was getting annoyed at all of these trips. I watched as Emerald left through my window. I didn't bother fighting the tears from coming. Goodbye, Lily Evans. I promise this will be the last time I hurt you.

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**Review! Let me know if you liked it or not! I didn't think it was very good but I just posted it up here for fun.**


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